soo....happy fourth of july!....it's been an interesting day to say the least...and i've realized that a lot of things aren't what they seem.  life is bizarre and sad and full of wonderful things at the same time...i don't understand it, but i still love it.  Is that weird?  how can life be so unknown?  I mean I've been on this earth for 20 years and it's still a huge, almost entirely unknown thing to me.  I don't even know what I am about....I'm sure that it's like that for everybody...but why is it so? 

it seems each life gets different lessons to learn at different times...and each experience, while some may be similar, is perceived in entirely different ways.  and i guess i'm more amazed by it than anything... how is it that we are able to perceive the exact same situation in different ways?  how is it that our perceptions can be so opposite?  And why are some of us not able to grasp the perceptions of others? 

I feel like a schoolgirl right now.... like i'm back in intermediate or something.  at the moment, my feelings are so wild, my thoughts so random...i just don't know what to think anymore....  I think more than anything that I need to be in school again.  I know it sounds weird, but I think that it's something that keeps me sane, while at the same time it drives me crazy.  I think though that my sanity comes from the fact that I am able to immerse myself in something that I believe to be so much greater than me.  I want to learn everything...but I have limitations and I know it....  Of course that really (usually) doesn't stop my interest. 

I have no idea if I'm making sense right now or not...I really don't care either way...  I just need to sort out my thoughts here... or write them down to calm myself....  I guess I just had a lot of pent up questions and had no idea how to express them until now...  it's been like this all day... oh well till later i guess...bye

Hahaha....I can't believe that I'm actually trying to keep up with this thing.  In a way, I guess that I just wasn't expecting to update this often.  I know, I know this isn't too often, but it's more often than never.  Haha...ok, that was lame....can't help it....

Work is getting busier.  Fiscal inventory is coming up, so right now, we're counting a lot of books and sovling a whole bunch of "problems".  I think that things are going pretty well.  We're almost done with our stock checking and the manual counting isn't so bad.  I'm actually finding the books.  Yeah...doesn't sound so fun...but things are actually ok...a/c environment, lots of books, and fun people.  books..I'm an English major, go figure...:P

So, other than that, I've been out and about just having a whole bunch of fun.  I actually have the opportunity to discuss ideology and language and many other issues that have been on my mind this whole year.  It's nice....and a relief that I'm now able to do such things.  I thought for the longest time that I could only find this type of solace in my English classes, but I was wrong....sort of.  I mean...this originated from English class and kinda continued in that fashion....so yeah...hehe...I don't know.  I'm just super happy nowadays, it's definitely been a fun two weeks so far.  Oh well....I'll be checking back...bye!

Sunday Morning rain is falling...

Gosh, I cannot believe that school is over and summertime is coming...it's crazy and it's scary...the year went by so fast.  I do not know why, but life is getting stranger and I feel quite confused.  But that's for later...bye